‘Maybe I was there,’ she said, ‘because I saw you, heard you and felt your love every night.’ ‘It’s always been there, Jenn,’ I said. ‘If you’d kiss me, you’d know how much love you and how much I need you in my arms. I need to hold you.’ She came to me and we held to each other as best we could, what with the wheelchair between us. The room was filled with our love for one another, a love that had us both in tears of absolute ecstasy until she finally pulled back. ‘What are we going to do,. Man, this was easy money and a fun way to make it. Dick began calling him Tony the Trestleman.Then one day Tony shocked me when he said, “How would you like to make even more money?”“More, how?” I asked.“By sucking me,” he responded.Talk about being shocked, I was more than stunned! Not only had I never sucked a cock, hell I had never even contemplated sucking one. I was only letting Tony suck me for the money, although I had to admit, I was enjoying it immensely.“Don’t worry, I will not cum in. He has no faith that everything we have done together meant something to me. Means so much to me still. He has no faith in me, I think, because he pushes me. Too much. So impatient. So little faith that I…he doesn’t believe the depth of what I am feeling, just that I don’t or can’t express it to him the same way. I don’t want to be hurt. I don’t want to hurt him. I can’t have him the way I want. I can’t be to him what he wants. But he thinks that I am saying no to him, when if he listened…if. He knew that she is all the reason he needed for staying alive.But he did not want her memory of him to be tarnished. He did not want to be a shriveled figure incapable of controlling his own body. He did not want machines to breathe for him or feed him through a tube.She deserved better."I want you to remember me before the cancer," he said, his own tears coursing down his face. "I want you to remember a time when I was strong enough to catch you in my arms and spin you around, to make love to.
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